I didn’t know what got into me this morning. I was so angry at myself, my school, the world, everything because of me being irresponsible and immature. The reason was, my grades were so low. And I am so afraid that I couldn’t make it on our grade limit and be removed from the program. I was stressed and depressed. There were a lot of people who added my stress… One of them was my sister who keeps on saying mean things about me and compares herself to me and then boasts around her achievements in life then starts asking me, “Eh ikaw Marell?”, “Mas maganda ka lang naman pero mas magaling ako sayo sa sports, talents at mas matalino.” And those words hit me the most. A proof that I was a stupid and a worthless human being that is not worthy of going to school…
But that isn’t what this post is about. It is about how I burst my anger to the one I love because of his text that made me so upset. I replied to his texts and… I even cursed him so hard and said that he was a walang-kwentang-boyfriend. Yeah yeah. I was so mean but that moment, I was so angry at him and I couldn’t help it. I can’t control my temper. And on that moment, I felt that wala talaga akong kakampi, na wala ng nakaka-appreciate sakin. Basta! Ang drama ko. And my thoughts were so magulo. Kung ano-ano naiisip ko non eh. L
That’s why I kept on crying whenever I think about the things that happened that morning. I was in so much guilt but I don’t want to talk to him either… I realized I was wrong on how I reacted to him because he was just trying to help me understand the situation but I still don’t want to talk and tell him I’m sorry. I was so narrow-minded talaga non.
However, when he texted me this evening, nawala galit ko. He asked me on a date, but I refused because it was already dark and mapapagalitan kami. But then again he said that he would just buy whatever I want. I said, “Eh McSpicy gusto ko. Kaya bukas na lang tayo umalis.” He replied, “Wait lang.” An hour later, he said that I should go outside our house. And I knew on that moment na, bumili talaga sya ng McSpicy. Eh ang layo layo ng Mcdo samin. Adik talaga sya diba?
Dun ko lang na-reliaze na I was wrong. Na he’s always there for me. He cared for me so much. He will do everything just to make me happy… And of course, he loved me… Dun ko din na-realize na, ang sama ko pa lang girlfriend haaaaaaaaaaaay. And kaylangan ko na talaga maging mabuting girlfriend sa napaka-buting lalaking kagaya nya. Kaya mahal na mahal ko si hubby eh. Iba sya sa mga lalaki. :’) Swerte ko..